i jhust puked up my retainher.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
