she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
