Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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