the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
