I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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