just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
