she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
