we have pet lesbian snakes
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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