Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize