I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
