Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
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