id be glad to
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
just tell him i said nine months
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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