I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
