Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
