Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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