I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
areolas are like halos for boobs.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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