I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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