trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
