No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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