The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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