Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
