Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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