Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
