How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
