What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
