Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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