In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
