Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
