hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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