You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
