Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
