the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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