Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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