Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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