i will never coherently bang her
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
