We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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