ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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