did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
