I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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