my soul wont recognize me after tonight
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
two words: eviction party
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
