; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
