Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
