wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
