Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
