it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
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