I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
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My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
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Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
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