this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Randomize
