Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
