So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
