Only a mothe r could love this liver
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
