I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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