He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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