don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
