We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
We named our party play list daddy issues
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...