I'm jealous of your bromance
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?