i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??