Texts From Last Night

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  (212): View more from New York

  I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.

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  (212): I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland. http://tfl.nu/ca0n
  Replies (71) Good night (29810) Bad night (1550)
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  (818): View more from California

  Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"

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  (818): Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny" http://tfl.nu/i2md
  Replies (14) Good night (2908) Bad night (747)
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  (308): View more from Nebraska

  i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.

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  (308): i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me. http://tfl.nu/ln0p
  Replies (18) Good night (4321) Bad night (732)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.

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  (706): Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number. http://tfl.nu/7aw5
  Replies (11) Good night (669) Bad night (3906)
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?

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  (912): Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance? http://tfl.nu/favq
  Replies (39) Good night (4929) Bad night (956)
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  (408): View more from California

  Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.

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  (408): Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling. http://tfl.nu/ek2q
  Replies (26) Good night (827) Bad night (4358)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.

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  (402): Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard. http://tfl.nu/co7z
  Replies (31) Good night (6967) Bad night (1032)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies

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  (703): apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies http://tfl.nu/vhuy
  Replies (77) Good night (1464) Bad night (6846)
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though

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  (662): It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though http://tfl.nu/50vd
  Replies (15) Good night (4569) Bad night (1118)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract

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  (215): I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract http://tfl.nu/jt8l
  Replies (2) Good night (2394) Bad night (961)
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  (510): View more from California

  In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...

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  (510): In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going... http://tfl.nu/8b0c
  Replies (9) Good night (5209) Bad night (918)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.

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  (847): The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling. http://tfl.nu/bvbt
  Replies (6) Good night (2145) Bad night (715)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you

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  (517): To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you http://tfl.nu/rkbn
  Replies (11) Good night (2151) Bad night (529)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it

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  (508): Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it http://tfl.nu/qcg9
  Replies (3) Good night (495) Bad night (437)
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  (310): View more from California

  Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz

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  (310): Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz http://tfl.nu/s64c
  Replies (3) Good night (991) Bad night (324)

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