Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"

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(202): you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!" http://tfl.nu/xr8i

Replies (46) Good night (5572) Bad night (601)
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(812): View more from Indiana

my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone

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(812): my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone http://tfl.nu/r2zj

Replies (37) Good night (3969) Bad night (938)
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(630): View more from Illinois

but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.

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(630): but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection. http://tfl.nu/k5cc

Replies (17) Good night (573) Bad night (4820)
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(917): View more from New York City

someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.

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(917): someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week. http://tfl.nu/uy84

Replies (6) Good night (4025) Bad night (1073)
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(319): View more from Iowa

he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"

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(319): he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you" http://tfl.nu/5pu4

Replies (18) Good night (5183) Bad night (2492)
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(+91): View more from India

I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.

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(+91): I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin. http://tfl.nu/d09o

Replies (7) Good night (2873) Bad night (1283)
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(419): View more from Ohio

I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.

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(419): I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done. http://tfl.nu/5j5b

Replies (6) Good night (1277) Bad night (811)
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(513): View more from Ohio

I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.

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(513): I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem. http://tfl.nu/o14u

Replies (6) Good night (931) Bad night (1898)
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.

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(405): You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join. http://tfl.nu/8ui9

Replies (4) Good night (1932) Bad night (659)
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(260): View more from Indiana

One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.

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(260): One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not. http://tfl.nu/b9k9

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(720): View more from Colorado

I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.

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(720): I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer. http://tfl.nu/osbe

Replies (8) Good night (1465) Bad night (592)
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(479): View more from Arkansas

fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants

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(479): fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants http://tfl.nu/pys2

Replies (8) Good night (1058) Bad night (380)
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(440): View more from Ohio

Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!

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(440): Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack! http://tfl.nu/22h4

Replies (17) Good night (3822) Bad night (505)
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(630): View more from Illinois

like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.

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(630): like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant. http://tfl.nu/ihww

Replies (7) Good night (400) Bad night (837)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.

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(732): this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like. http://tfl.nu/91y5

Replies (2) Good night (342) Bad night (645)

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