I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself