It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
