So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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