You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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