You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
