there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
