im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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