Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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