I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
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