hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
My vagina just recognized that song.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
