great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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