on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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