i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
